...slap slap slap

Family! so good to hear about your life. Danny's a cutie. And Nana looks great! How fun everyone can visit and check in on her. I'm so happy for Katy! The MTC was a great experience, and I'm sure the Mexico MTC has all sorts of fun additions and experiences. She'll be a killer missionary. oh, that's exciting.

Well what else? It's been a week. ha - It's been more than a week! We had the opportunity to go to the Temple today, so Pday was pushed back. So good things have been happening. But it's been a tough week too. I have been feeling a little inadequate as a missionary. We need to build this area, but I don't know how much I'm helping, in all honesty. President Bednar once said something along the lines of how the Spirit teaches these people and helps them come unto Christ, and we just need to not get in the way. But I feel like I'm always in the way! We've had several solid potential investigators who have lost interest, and we've lost them. And the other day we had another 7 hour finding day and came up with nothing. Even on other long finding days when we get 4 or 5 street lessons and reschedule a couple of them, they seem to always fall through. I'm trying to stay happy, but my body hurts. I am so excited to crawl into bed each night, but I'll wake up 3 or 4 times throughout the night because I hurt somewhere, or my leg keeps cramping up. And then I dread getting out of bed in the morning because putting pressure back on my feet make them ache. I'm exhausted. We're working hard, really, I feel like we are, but I don't feel like it's making much of a difference. Sucks to suck, eh Camilla? :)

So I've been having negative thoughts lately. And I've noticed that as I recognize all the bad things that happen, then everything that happens is bad (weird ha). On that 7 hour finding day, Sister Killpack and I felt like we were just getting hit with one thing after another, to the point where we were just expecting everything to go bad. to fail. And we were right! That day was a good lesson to me that you are what you think in a lot of ways. I love this quote we have on one of our mission handouts, "To a great extent we accomplish what we think about. Your life is influenced more by your own thoughts than anything else. How could a person possibly become what he is not thinking? Nor is any thought, when persistently entertained, too small to have its effect. The "divinity that shapes our end is indeed in ourselves."

Heavenly Father knows my capacity perfectly. I really believe that. And he knows how to stretch us. I especially believe that. But I know that he did not put us here to fail. We've been pre-tained for this life, for our responsibilities, for our challenges. That's a neat thought for me, and gives me little more understanding why Elder Bednar said to just not get in the way.

I was reading in Nephi about when he broke his bow of fine steel, and made another one out of wood and a straight stick. And as I read that, I kind of felt like the pile of wood he had to make work to go slay beasts and feed his family. But I believe in the power of heaven and especially the power of the atonement. And I know I need to be patient, and continue to work, and have faith, but I also know that we are made better than what we give. And I've been finding comfort in that as my and Sister Killpack try to share the gospel with these people.  And I know I have it better than I even know, and especially as this is November and close to Thanksgiving, I've been trying to be more grateful and happy and I can already see the blessings by doing that.

I have a new great friend named Ken. He's the Elder's investigator, but we escorted him home last night (he's blind). Such a good, funny guy. Has a degree in Electrical engineering and Physics, so he thinks we're best friends now because I did math haha. He loves listening to Tongan radio, and now, the book of mormon! So that's fun. We had a fun walk. He lives alone and tries to find jobs here and there, but it's been interesting to me to see how drawn he is to the Savior and the Spirit. I mean, I'm sure he depends on his other senses a lot more than I do, so it's been a powerful lesson to me to watch how he relies on his feelings, and really, already has such a unique and powerful relationship with the Spirit. What a great guy.

What else, Wendy (from Kwun Tong) started menopause, so she gave us all the pads she has stored up in her house haha. I still can't get over that haha. People show there love here in violent ways!  The other day I came home with a big red mark on my right arm.  We had another long finding day, and taught 3 different lessons where they just kept slapping me on the arm. Like an over-exaggerated love pat. But they would be saying such nice things while they say it, but slap, slap slap...such a good person...slap slap slap....wow, so smart cantonese....slap slap slap....thoughtful friend....slap slap slap. Sister Killpack made it out with out the abuse, but at the end of the day she and I just laughed at how brutal it was. It was hilarious.

Things are good. And I am so blessed to get to serve here. I love this place, and I love the people. And I love you guys! I keep you in my prayers every day, and miss you so much. Hope everyone has a good week. I should get going, but I love you!

Love Hannah